Random musings:
43 days. How has the time passed since Dad died? I don't remember any of it.
I should really go to the beach.
10 hours of sleep isn't nearly enough.
The phone is ringing. I don't answer it. My Super Mario Brothers ringtone makes me smile.
Maybe I'll stay in bed. All day. Yoga would make me feel so much better. Get up and go to yoga!!
No really. Get up.
Like, now.
Riding my bike makes me happy.
Again, with the tears in yoga. Woman next to me: "We did a lot of heart openers, it's understandable." Me: "My father died a few weeks ago." Woman: Blank stare.
The pool is my sanctuary. Underwater I am free...safe. I don't want to get out.
Lane: "I have the same bike. No, seriously." Of course he has the same bike.
I should really go to the Botanic Gardens.
Me: "It's strange because I don't feel alone...or lonely. I feel loved...and supported. But the loss...this one, specific loss...it hurts so much. It's taking over everything."
The Olympics are still on?
I should really get back to online dating.
Someone should invent kalamata olive ice cream. The best of both worlds.
Woman in yoga: "Take care of yourself.". Text message from friend: "Take care!"
Alyssa: "So I got a text this morning from my friend who lives in Disney World..."
Not sure if I've smiled yet today.
I should really eat something.
Tylenol PM doesn't count on the FSA card? It's doctor prescribed...
Just realized it's August 1st. Hahahaha. I don't remember anything about summer.
Rebecca: "Let (the tears) come."
Brandon Priestly is doing commercials for Old Navy? Yikes.
It's only 7p? Yikes.
Sangria.
Muddy Waters Pandora.
I wish I started my laundry before 9p.
Jimi.
Revisiting Bodeans' "Lullaby," heard earlier today: "Goodnight, my sweet little one. Go to sleep now, your day is done. Dream about how good it's been...and tomorrow, let's do it again....if I die before you wake, you were worth the chance to take."
Yes. Take the chance. No matter how much it hurts.
The pain is the measure of the love you shared with him. It will not grow less, only different, as you take in all that was, its meaning, its caring. Yes, let that caring in to you now--it belongs to you. Love you.
ReplyDeleteSusanne
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