Liebe

Half-sister...the phrase has been going through my head ever since Dede left yesterday.  It makes no sense to me- I understand from a rational perspective that we only share one parent, but in the two days I got to spend with her last week I had never felt more whole.  She is more of a sister to me than my "real" sister, who has been estranged from me for the past four years and never was close growing up.
 
Dede is Dad's daughter from his first marriage- he was married 25 years and had four children.  He then was married to my mother for another 25 years (his limit, I guess), and had two more daughters.  Needless to say, I did not grow up with my siblings from his first family and they are almost a full generation older than I am.  I remember visiting Dede in Atlanta when I was 9, and not knowing if I fit in playing in the basement with my 6 years old niece or upstairs in the kitchen with the "adults".  Years later, after her family had moved to Vienna and I was studying abroad, I stayed at their house twice during my backpacking travels around Europe.  It was incredibly comforting to have a place to call Home after living in hostels and sleeping on trains for weeks.  As a college student, I was able to relate better- we visited vineyards, toured the Austrian countryside, and even took a side trip to Prague and Budapest.  I was in awe of her- she was cooler than a "cool Aunt" because she was my sister and so full of life.  I've seen her twice since then, but there was always something small in the way- perhaps that she was traveling with her two delightful daughters, or that Dad was ambulatory and still living alone, or the aforementioned self-doubt- suffice it to say we had plenty of distractions.

This visit I fully experienced the connection and love that my friends who are close to their siblings talk about- like the other person is a part of them, their brains works in similar ways, they can laugh and cry and nothing is off-limits to talk about.  Granted, the most important part of her trip was to see Dad, who may or may not be around on her next visit.  We spent one afternoon all together at the nursing home, and the next day I let them have several hours alone before joining them.  As emotional and draining as this must have been on her, and despite being jet-lagged and still on Austrian time, afterwards Dede was up for meeting my friends, joining a wine tasting, lingering at dinner, talking until we literally got kicked out of the restaurant because it was closing.

I am fortunate to have a network of incredibly supportive and validating friends, and I know they love me despite my quirks.  In those two days with Dede, however, I discovered a new connection- one that runs through your blood lines and is comforting and familiar.  They say you can't choose your family; you do, however, have the choice of how to respond to them.  Receiving the full love of my half-sister is one of the best choices I've ever made.